What's Loved Got to do With It?

What's Loved Got to do With It?

"A parent of a missing child will not refer to their child in the past tense unless they know the child is dead."

Peter Hyatt, Statement Analysis expert (September 2010)

Imagine, if you will, a horrifying scenario. If you don't have your own children, then think of a child - any child - who you are close to and love. A niece, a nephew, a grandchild, your neighbor's sweet little kid...just think of a little angel who tugs at your heartstrings. Maybe you're practically a kid yourself. Maybe you can think of a little brother or sister who you love dearly (even if they drive you crazy a lot of the time). 

Now, imagine this child goes missing. Maybe the circumstances are similar to Kyron's, maybe not. But the fact is, this child you love is missing. You have no idea where he/she is. Close your eyes and really think about it. 

Your child has been missing for a couple of days, you haven't a clue where he/she is, and you are just hoping beyond hope that nothing bad has happened. You hope he/she is just lost, hiding out in a dry cave or something, awaiting rescue. You pray he/she is not being harmed by someone. Deep down, inside, you won't let your mind (or your heart) go to that darkest place of wondering if your child is still alive. 

In this imaginary scenario you are sitting in a chair, trying to hold yourself together for just one more minute, one more hour, one more day until your child is found. And imagine there are other people around you; other family members who love your child, too. You've all been through the wringer. Tension is high. But you are all trying to hold it together because of that common bond you all have: a missing child. So as you are sitting in that chair imagine this. Close your eyes if you have to, but really think about this. One of those family members who you think loves your child as much as you do leans over to you and says "I loved your son."

 "I want you to know, I loved your son." 

Terri Moulton Horman

What would you do at that very moment? Honestly, I'm not sure what I would do. I'm not sure I would have the self-control to restrain myself from a physical altercation with that person (the same person who had been telling anyone and everyone that she failed a lie detector test that very day).  Yes, that's right.  This word, "loved"...was spoken by Terri Horman to Desiree Young just a couple of days after Kyron disappeared.  While Desiree and the rest of the family were holding out hope-beyond-hope that their son would be found alive, Terri apparently felt the overwhelming need to let Desiree know just who was in control of Kyron's fate, and to let his terrified momma know that this was not going to have a happy ending.

Some have argued that this was just a slip of the tongue.  But even the experts agree that referring to a missing person in the past tense can be a big sign to investigators that something is hinky.

"Most people hold out hope that their missing loved one will be found alive.  Referring to a person in past tense, saying I really loved her orhe and I were happily married, is incriminating."

Stacy Dittrich, crime expert and former police detective

Sadly, in other high-profile crime cases we have seen this same telling use of the past tense when a child has not yet been discovered deceased:

"She loved that."

Casey Anthony
(referring to missing Caylee, who had supposedly been abducted by her nanny)

"She loved playing."

Robert Smith
(stepfather and, later, confessed murderer, of then-missing Kiesha Wieppeart)

"My children wanted me.  They needed me.
And now I can't help them."

Susan Smith 
(before her murdered children were found)

"I loved that little girl."

Misty Croslin 
(referring to her still-missing stepdaughter, Haleigh Cummings)

Perhaps one of Terri's own longtime supporters sums it up best:

"If those are the exact words Terri used, to me, that is telling.  
Most of the time a parent doesn't speak in the past tense 
when their child (or step child) is missing."

Musterion (JusticeQuest, June 2011 - post #611)